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Going, Going, Gone: 14-Year Old Boyness

Like most modern families, we were watching Tosh.O recently, waiting for a teaching moment to come along. It was a short wait. Our friend on the TV mentioned “spooning.” My son, with all of 14.75 years...

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Dirty Is A Relative Term

Just when I think that I’ve really got nothing to write about, I trip over a conversation with my son, at bedtime, when I “tuck” him into bed. I don’t actually pull his covers up and smooth them out...

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Life is Anything But Short

Who are these people who believe that life is short? Life is a long ass time. Name one other activity that you might do that could be categorized as short, if it lasted as long as an average lifespan...

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The Ex-Factor

Sometimes things catch my eye, or my ear, and in an instant, a moment is born. For example, I was just thinking about the events of a recent evening, when my husband and I joined my husband’s ex-wife...

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The Surreal Housewife: The Year of Living Dangerously

Second marriages are tricky. According to the Internet, arguably the world’s most reliable source of accurate statistics and funny cat videos, second marriages have a divorce rate of 67%—making them...

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The Surreal Housewife: Bring me a “higher love” (Steve Winwood)

Now that Valentine’s Day is over, and the pressure is off to express myself by way of expensive Hallmark cards, I’ve given this love thing some serious thought. My Valentine’s Day gift of choice has...

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The Surreal Housewife: How I remember things (or not)

I have a multitude of safety nets in place that protect me from forgetting appointments, meetings, meds, etc. Those raggedy nets, in no particular order, are: Post-it notes; alarms on my cell phone and...

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The Surreal Housewife: Freshmen on my Mind

Freshman orientation is today. Since I have two of that variety in my household, the freshman experience is really on my mind lately. I had just moved to a new town at the end of eighth grade, so I...

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The Surreal Housewife: The Last Word

Despite regular threats to throw myself off the porch, which actually means grabbing a beer out of the garage fridge and heading to the front yard for a time out, I’m in no hurry to die, or overly...

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The Surreal Housewife: I Want my High Chair!

We recently got a recliner, and it’s our new favorite toy. I know that some people get jet skis, or sports cars, or quads. Don’t get me wrong: We’re a healthy, active family who exercise and eat right....

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Say Hello to My Little Friend: the Dutch Oven

I schlepped a Dutch oven around for 10 years before I finally used it. Even though I grew up watching my mom, aunt and Nonie use Dutch ovens, and enjoying their mouth-watering creations, from braised,...

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Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

A few nights ago, I decided to make bread pudding. Now, it wasn’t that the idea just sprung to mind and I acted on it; I had been thinking about it, actually sneaking up on the idea for a couple of...

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Scone Cake: I meant to do that!

This morning, I got out of bed. To make matters worse, I decided to bake something, at the ungodly hour of 6:30 a.m. I hate baking for one reason: I don’t like to measure. Love to cook, hate to bake....

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How to sneak-attack your way to healthier eating

When my kids were little, I steamed and pureed fresh vegetables and snuck them into their favorite crappy foods, like mac n’ cheese, or spaghettios. I know, it’s hard to believe that a person like me,...

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Easy, Fast and Delicious, Just Like the Cook!

We’re all busy in our own way. My way is work, four teenagers who play sports, and a husband who coaches, so on any given weeknight, I may be in a neighboring county, or beyond, when you factor in...

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Scratch That: How to Make Homemade-ish Meals that Satisfy

I like to cook. But I’m a busy person. For most of my meals, I try to come up with something that’s made from scratch, with ingredients that were grown, and/or raised humanely. I stay away from overly...

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(Some Kind of) Santa is Coming to Town!

Here we are, up to our aspics in the holiday season. Most of the country is still high on Black Friday savings from all those zeros we rolled up and smoked (legally) after not handing them over to...

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Verbal Turducken: It’s What’s for Dinner

I always enjoy writing about the holiday experience. One year, I wrote about things I should have thanked people for a long time ago, but didn’t. Another year, I called out the habit of people posting...

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Safewords for Everyday Situations

I’m getting right to the point this week; no beating around the bush (pun intended). The world needs safewords in everyday situations—now more than ever. To be clear, I’m brand spanking new to the...

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Nest Evacuation, 1 of 4: Spring Training Report

Here we are, nearing the end of the second semester of the first year of the first of our four children’s evacuation from the nest. I didn’t write about the halfway point, in January, because I didn’t...

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